26 June 2011

How Nnedi Got Her Curved Spine by Nnedi Okorafor

In a forest of South Eastern Nigeria lived a tribe of large baboons called The Idiok. They were regal creatures with thick brown fur, black ears, careful hands and golden eyes. They were wise and peaceful, and at night, when the moon was high and full, they could easily find each other because their eyes would glow like setting suns. They were a beautiful people. Nevertheless, the humans who lived in the forest feared them. To them, the Idiok were mysterious otherworldly creatures who stole human children and brought misfortune to the lives of adults.

This story has been selected for the annual StoryTime anthology African Roar 2012, please go to the African Roar site for more info.



How Nnedi Got Her Curved Spine was written by Nnedi Okorafor.

Copyright © Nnedi Okorafor 2011.



Nnedi Okorafor is the author of the critically acclaimed novel Who Fears Death (winner of the RT Reviewer’s Choice Award for Best Science Fiction and Nebula Award Nominee). Her other novels include Zahrah the Windseeker (winner of the Wole Soyinka Prize), The Shadow Speaker (winner of the CBS Parallax Award) and Long Juju Man (winner of the Macmillan Prize for Africa). Her latest novel Akata Witch was released in April 2011. Okorafor holds a PhD in literature and is a professor at Chicago State University.






19 June 2011

A Married Man by Sindanni Mwella

He had magic when I first met him. The kind of magic that made me, a nine year old, decide that he was the man to marry me. Now, at thirty four, with a rotund mid-body, flabby arms, and reclining hairline, am reduced to a superfluous quote “marriage is not for everyone”. Sorry. I am rushing ahead. His magic was a beautiful lanky body which he carried with the flexibility of a marionette puppet. Although we were age-mates, he towered three inches above me; a genuine product of good genes and displaying a seductive burden of shyness, which I had never encountered in my years of juvenile existence.

This story has been selected for the annual StoryTime anthology African Roar 2012, please go to the African Roar site for more info.



A Married Man was written by Sindanni Mwella.

Copyright © Sindanni Mwella 2011.



Sindanni Mwella is a Kenyan. He hates labels because they are reductionist, easily revisible and drainingly require justification. But just for the sake, he is a dramatist, a writer and a commercial lawyer. He is currently based in the coastal city of Mombasa, Kenya where be practises commercial Law with a multi-national corporation.

He lives, pays bills, and drinks Tusker, literally from the ‘written word’ be it from drafting legal documents or dabbling in creative writing. For ten years he wrote and directed plays performed by High school students for the Kenya Schools and Colleges Drama Festivals.

He is compiling a collection of short stories and will return to a long neglected Novel project when he next goes on Leave.






15 June 2011

Zoo City by Lauren Beukes (Book Excerpt)

1.

In Zoo City, it’s impolite to ask.

Morning light the sulphur colour of the mine dumps seeps across Johannesburg’s skyline and sears through my window. My own personal bat signal. Or a reminder that I really need to get curtains.

Shielding my eyes – morning has broken and there’s no picking up the pieces – I yank back the sheet and peel out of bed. Benoit doesn’t so much as stir, with only his calloused feet sticking out from under the duvet like knots of driftwood. Feet like that, they tell a story. They say he walked all the way from Kinshasa with his Mongoose strapped to his chest.

The Mongoose in question is curled up like a furry comma on my laptop, the glow of the LED throbbing under his nose. Like he doesn’t know that my computer is out of bounds. Let’s just say I’m precious about my work. Let’s just say it’s not entirely legal.

I take hold of the laptop on either side and gently tilt it over the edge of my desk. At thirty degrees, the Mongoose starts sliding down the front of the laptop. He wakes with a start, tiki tavi claws scrabbling for purchase. As he starts to fall, he contorts in the air and manages to land feet first. Hunching his stripey shoulders, he hisses at me, teeth bared. I hiss back. The Mongoose realises he has urgent fleabites to attend to.

Leaving the Mongoose to scrolf at its flank, I duck under one of the loops of rope hanging from the ceiling, the closest I can get to providing authentic Amazon jungle vines, and pad over the rotten linoleum to the cupboard. Calling it a cupboard is a tad optimistic, like calling this dank room with its precariously canted floor and intermittent plumbing an apartment is optimistic. The cupboard is not much more than an open box with a piece of fabric pinned across it to keep the dust off my clothes – and Sloth, of course. As I pull back the gaudy sunflower print, Sloth blinks up at me sleepily from his roost, like a misshapen fur coat between the wire hangers. He’s not good at mornings.

There’s a mossy reek that clings to his fur and his claws, but it’s earthy and clean compared to the choke of stewing garbage and black mould floating up the stairwell. Elysium Heights was condemned years ago.

I reach past him to pull out a vintage navy dress with a white collar, match it up with jeans and slops, and finish off with a lime green scarf over the little dreadlock twists that conveniently hide the mangled wreckage of my left ear – let’s call it Grace Kelly does Sailor Moon. This is not so much a comment on my style as a comment on my budget. I was always more of an outrageously expensive indie boutique kinda girl. But that was FL. Former Life.

‘Come on, buddy,’ I say to Sloth. ‘Don’t want to keep the clients waiting.’ Sloth gives a sharp sneeze of disapproval and extends his long downy arms. He clambers onto my back, fussing and shifting before he finally settles. I used to get impatient. But this has become old routine for the pair of us.

It’s because I haven’t had my caffeine fix yet that it takes a little while for the repetitive skritching sound to penetrate – the Mongoose is pawing at the front door with a single-minded devotion.

I oblige, shunting back the double deadbolt and clicking open the padlock which is engraved with magic, supposedly designed to keep out those with a shavi for slipping through locked doors. At the first crack, the Mongoose nudges out between my ankles and trots down the passage towards the communal litter tray. It’s easy to find. It’s the smelliest place in the building.

‘You should really get a cat-flap.’ Benoit is awake at last, propped up on one elbow, squinting at me from under the shade of his fingers, because the glare bouncing off Ponte tower has shifted across to his side of the bed.

‘Why?’ I say, propping the door open with my foot for the Mongoose’s imminent return. ‘You moving in?’

‘Is that an invitation?’

‘Don’t get comfortable, is all I’m saying.’

‘Ah, but is that all you’re saying?’

‘And don’t get smart either.’

‘Don’t worry, cherie na ngayi. Your bed is far too lumpy to get comfortable.’ Benoit stretches lazily, revealing the mapwork of scars over his shoulders, the plasticky burned skin that runs down his throat and his chest. ‘You making breakfast?’ He only ever calls me ‘my love’ in Lingala, which makes it easier to disregard.

‘Deliveries,’ I shrug.

‘Anything interesting today?’ He loves hearing about the things people lose.

‘Set of keys. The widow ring.’

‘Ah, yes. The crazy lady.’

‘Mrs Luditsky.’

‘That’s right,’ Benoit says, and repeats himself: ‘Crazy lady.’

‘Hustle, my friend. I have to get going.’

Benoit pulls a face. ‘It’s so early.’

‘I’m not kidding.’

‘All right, all right.’ He uncocoons himself from the bed, plucks his jeans from the floor and yanks on an old protest t-shirt inherited from Central Methodist’s clothing drive.

I fish Mrs Luditsky’s ring out of the plastic cup of Jik it’s been soaking in overnight to get rid of the clinging eau de drain, and rinse it under a sputtering tap. Platinum with a constellation of sapphires and a narrow grey band running through the centre, only slightly scratched. Even with Sloth’s help, it took three hours to find the damn thing.

As soon as I touch it, I feel the tug – the connection running away from me like a thread, stronger when I focus on it. Sloth tightens his grip on my shoulder, his claws digging into my collarbone.

‘Easy, tiger,’ I wince. Maybe it would have been easier to have a tiger. As if any of us gets a choice.

Benoit is already dressed, the Mongoose looping impatient figure eights around his ankles.

‘See you later, then?’ he says, as I shoo him out the door.

‘Maybe.’ I smile in spite of myself. But when he moves to kiss me, Sloth bats him away with a proprietary arm.

‘I don’t know who is worse.’ Benoit complains, ducking. ‘You or that monkey.’

‘Definitely me,’ I say, locking the door behind him.

The blackened walls of Elysium Heights’ stairwell still carries a whiff of the Undertow, like polyester burning in a microwave. The stairway is mummified in yellow police tape and a charm against evidence-tampering, as if the cops are ever going to come back and investigate. A dead zoo in Zoo City is low priority even on a good day. Most of the residents have been forced to use the fire-escape to bypass this floor. But there are faster ways to the ground. I have a talent not just for finding lost things, but shortcuts too.

I duck into number 615, abandoned ever since the fire tore through here, and scramble down through the hole in the floor that drops into 526, which has been gutted by scrap rats who ripped out the floorboards, the pipes, the fittings – anything that could be sold for a hit.

Speaking of which, there is a junkie passed out in the doorway, some dirty furry thing nested against his chest, breathing fast and shallow. My slops crunch on the brittle glitter of a broken light-bulb as I step over him. In my day we smoked crack, or mandrax if you were really trashy. I cross over the walkway that connects to Aurum Place and a functional staircase. Or not so functional. The moment I swing open the double doors to the stairwell and utter darkness, it becomes obvious where the junkie got the bulb.

‘Well, isn’t this romantic.’

Sloth grunts in response.

‘Yeah, you say that now, but remember, I’m taking you with me if I fall,’ I say, stepping into the darkness.

Sloth drives me like a Zinzi-motorbike, his claws clenching, left, right, down, down, down for two storeys to where the bulbs are still intact. It won’t be long until they too find a new life as tik pipes, but isn’t that the way of the slums? Even the stuff that’s nailed down gets repurposed.

After the claustrophobia of the stairwell, it’s a relief to hit the street. It’s still relatively quiet this early in the morning. A municipality street cleaning truck chugs up ahead, blasting the tarmac with a sheet of water to wash away the transgressions of the night. One of the transgressions in question dances back to avoid being sprayed, nearly stepping on the scruffy Sparrow hopping around between her high heels.

Seeing me, she pulls her denim jacket closed over her naked breasts, too quickly for me to figure if they’re hormone-induced or magic. As we pass, I can feel the filmy cling of a dozen strands of lost things from the boygirl, like brushing against the tendrils of an anemone. I try not to look. But I pick up blurred impressions anyway, like an out-of-focus photograph. I get snatches of a gold cigarette case, or maybe it’s a business-card holder, a mostly empty plastic bankie of brown powder and a pair of sequinned red stilettos – real showgirl shoes, like Dorothy got back from Oz all grown up and turned burlesque stripper. Sloth tenses up automatically. I pat his arm. ‘None of our business, buddy.’

He’s too sensitive. The problem with my particular gift, curse, call it what you like, is that everybody’s lost something. Stepping out in public is like walking into a tangle of cat’s cradles, like someone dished out balls of string at the lunatic asylum and instructed the inmates to tie everything to everything else. On some people, the lost strings are cobwebs, inconsequential wisps that might blow away at any moment. On others, it’s like they’re dragging steel cables. Finding something is all about figuring out which string to tug on.

Some things lost can’t be found. Like youth say. Or innocence. Or, sorry Mrs Luditsky, property values once the slums start encroaching. Rings, on the other hand, that’s easy stuff. Also: lost keys, love letters, beloved toys, misplaced photographs and missing wills. I even found a lost room once. But I like to stick to the easy stuff, the little things. After all, the last thing of any consequence I found was a nasty drug habit. And look how that turned out.

I pause to buy a nutritious breakfast, aka a skyf, from a Zimbabwean vendor rigging up the scaffolding of a pavement stall. While he lays out his crate of suckers and snacks and single smokes, his wife unpacks a trove of cheap clothing and disposable electronics from two large amaShangaan, the red and blue checked bags that are ubiquitous round here. It’s like they hand them out with the application for refugee status. Here’s your temporary ID, here’s your asylum papers, and here, don’t forget your complimentary crappy woven plastic suitcase.

Sloth clicks in my ear as I light up my Remington Gold, half the price of a Stuyvesant. This city’s all about the cheap knock-off.

‘Oh come on. One. One cigarette. It’s not like I’m going to live long enough to get emphysema.’ Or that emphysema isn’t an attractive alternative to being sucked down by the Undertow.

Sloth doesn’t respond, but I can feel his irritation in the way he shifts his weight, thumping against my back. In retaliation, I blow the smoke out the side of my mouth into his disapproving furry face. He sneezes violently.

The traffic is starting to pick up, taxis hurtling through the streets with the first consignments of commuters. I take the opportunity to do a little advertising, sticking flyers under the wipers of the parked cars already lining the street outside The Daily Truth’s offices. You have to get up pretty early in the morning to invent the news.

I’ve got ads up in a couple of places. The local library. The supermarket, jammed between advertisements for chars with excellent references and second-hand lawnmowers. Pasted up in Hillbrow among the wallpaper of flyers advertising miracle Aids cures, cheap abortions and prophets.

Lost a small item of personal value?

I can help you find it for a reasonable fee.

No drugs. No weapons. No missing persons.

I’ve resisted going mass market and posting it online. This way it’s kismet, like the ads find the people they’re supposed to. Like Mrs Luditsky, who summoned me to her Killarney apartment Saturday morning.

To the old lady’s credit, she didn’t flinch when she saw Sloth draped across my shoulders.

‘You can only be the girl from the ad. Well, come in. Have a cup of tea.’ She pressed a cup of greasy-looking Earl Grey into my hands without waiting for a response and bustled away through her dingy hallway to an equally dingy lounge.

The apartment had been Art Deco in a former lifetime, but it had been subjected to one ill-conceived refurbishment too many. But then, so had Mrs Luditsky. Her skin had the transparent shine of glycerine soap, and her eyes bulged ever so slightly, possibly from the effort of trying to emote when every associated muscle had been pumped full of botulinum or lasered into submission. Her thinning orange hair was gelled into a hard pompidour, like the crust on crème brûlée.

The tea tasted like stale horse piss drained through a homeless guy’s sock, but I drank it anyway, if only because Sloth hissed at me when I tried to turf it surreptitiously into the exotic plastic orchid next to the couch.

Mrs Luditsky launched straight in. ‘It’s my ring. There was an armed robbery at the mall yesterday and–’

I cut in, ‘If your ring was stolen, that’s out of my jurisdiction. It’s a whole different genre of magic.’

‘If you would be so kind as to let me finish?’ the old lady snapped. ‘I hid in the bathroom and took all my jewellery off because I know how you people are – criminals that is,’ she added hurriedly, ‘No offence to the animalled.’

‘Of course not,’ I replied. The truth is we’re all criminals. Murderers, rapists, junkies. Scum of the earth. In China they execute zoos on principle. Because nothing says guilty like a spirit critter at your side.

‘And what happened after you took it off?’

‘Well, that’s the problem. I couldn’t get it off. I’ve worn it for eight years. Ever since The Bastard died.’

‘Your husband?’

‘The ring is made with his ashes, you know. They compress it and fuse it into the platinum in this micro-thin band. It’s absolutely irreplaceable. Anyway, I know what happens when they can’t get your rings off. When my neighbour’s cousin was mugged, they chopped off her finger with a bloody great panga.’

I could see exactly where this was going. ‘So you used soap?’

‘And it slipped right off, into the sink and down the drain.’

‘Down the drain,’ I repeated.

‘Didn’t I just say that?’

‘May I?’ I said, and reached for Mrs Luditsky’s hand. It was a pretty hand, maybe a little chubby, but the wrinkles and the powdery texture betrayed all the work on her face. Clearly botox doesn’t work on hands, or maybe it’s too expensive. ‘This finger?’

‘Yes, dear. The ring finger. That’s where people normally wear their rings.’

I closed my eyes and squeezed the pad of the woman’s finger, maybe a little too hard. And caught a flash of the ring, a blurred silver-coloured halo, somewhere dark and wet and industrial. I didn’t look too hard to figure out the exact location. That level of focus tends to bring on a migraine, the same way heavy traffic does. I snagged the thread that unspooled away from the woman and ran deep into the city, deep under the city.

I opened her eyes to find Mrs Luditsky studying me intently, as if she was trying to peer into my skull to see the gears at work. Behind her bouffant hair, a display case of china figurines stared down. Cute shepherdesses and angels and playful kittens and a chorus line of flamenco dancers.

‘It’s in the drains,’ I said, flatly.

‘I thought we’d already established that.’

‘I hate the drains.’ Call it the contempt of familiarity. You’d be surprised how many lost things migrate to the drains.

‘Well pardon me, Little Miss Hygiene,’ Mrs Luditsky snapped, although the impact was diminished by her inability to twitch a facial muscle. ‘Do you want the job or not?’

Of course I did. Which is how I got a look-in to Mrs Luditsky’s purse for a R500 deposit. Another R500 to be paid on delivery. And how I found myself shin-deep in shit in the stormwater drains beneath Killarney mall. Not actual shit, at least, because the sewage runs through a different system, but years of musty rainwater and trash and rot and dead rats and used condoms make up their own signature fragrance.

I swear I can still detect a hint of it underneath the bleach. Was it worth it for R1000? Not even close. But the problem with being mashavi is that it’s not so much a job as a vocation. You don’t get to choose the ghosts that attach themselves to you. Or the things they bring with them.

I drop off a set of keys at the Talk-Talk phone shop, or rather the small flat above the shuttered store. The owner is Cameroonian and so grateful to be able to open up shop this morning that he promises me a discount on airtime as a bonus. A toddler dressed in a pink fluffy bear suit peeks out between his legs and reaches for them with pudgy grasping fingers. The same one, I’m guessing, who was chewing on the keys in her pram before gleefully tossing them into the rush hour traffic. That’s worth fifty bucks. And it’s more in line with my usual hustle. In my experience, the Mrs Luditskys of the world are few and far between.

I walk up on Empire through Parktown past the old Johannesburg College of Education, attracting a few aggressive hoots from passing cars. I give them the finger. Not my fault if they’re so cloistered in suburbia that they don’t get to see zoos. At least Killarney isn’t a gated community. Yet.

I’m still a couple of kays from Mrs Luditsky’s block, just turning off Oxford and away from the heavy traffic, which is giving me a headache, the kind that burrows in behind your temples like a brain termite, when my connection suddenly, horribly, goes slack.

Sloth squeaks in dismay and grips my arms so hard his long claws draw little beads of blood. ‘I know, buddy, I know,’ I say and start running. I clamp my fist around the cold circle of metal in my pocket as if I could jump-start the connection. There is the faintest of pulses, but the thread is unravelling.

We’ve never lost a thread. Even when a lost thing is out of reach forever, like when that wannabe-novelist guy’s manuscript blew out across Emmerentia Dam, I could still feel the taut lines of connection between him and the disintegrating pages. This feels more like a dead umbilical cord withering away.

There’s an ambulance and a police van outside Mrs Luditsky’s block, strobing the dusty beige of the wall with flicks of red and blue. Sloth whimpers.

‘It’s okay,’ I say, out of breath, even though I’m pretty damn sure it’s anything but, falling in alongside the small cluster of rubber-necking pedestrians. I guess I’m shaking, because someone takes my elbow.

‘You okay, honey?’

I’m obviously not remotely okay, because somehow I missed these two in the crowd – a gangly angel with huge dark wings and a dapper man with a Maltese Poodle dyed a ludicrous orange to match the scarf at his neck. It’s the man who has attached himself to me. He’s wearing expensive-looking glasses and a suit as sharp as the razored edge of his chiskop quiff. The Dog gives me a dull look from the end of its leash and thumps its tail half-heartedly. Say what you like about Sloths, but at least I didn’t end up with a motorised toilet-brush. Or a Vulture, judging by the hideous bald head that bobbles up and down behind the woman’s shoulder, digging under its wing.

The woman falls into the vaguely ageless and androgynous category, somewhere between 32 and 58, with a chemotherapy haircut, wisps of dark hair clinging to her scalp, and thin overplucked eyebrows. Or maybe she just tries to make herself look ugly. She’s wearing riding boots over slim grey pants and a white shirt with the sleeves rolled up. It’s accented by leather straps crossing over her chest from the harness that supports the weight of the hulking Bird on her back.

‘You know what’s going on?’ I say to the Dog guy.

‘There’s been a mur-der,’ the man stage-whispers the word behind his hand. ‘Old lady on the second floor. Terrible business. Although I hear she’s terribly well preserved.’

‘Have they said anything?’

‘Not yet,’ the woman says, her voice, unexpectedly, the malted alto of jazz singers. Her accent is Eastern European, Russian maybe, or Serbian. At the sound of her voice, the Bird stops grooming and a long neck with a wattle like a deflated testicle twists over the woman’s shoulder. It drapes its wrinkled head over her chest, the long, sharp spear of its beak angled down towards her hip. Not a Vulture then. She lays one hand tenderly on the Marabou Stork’s mottled head, the way you might soothe a child or a lover.

‘Then how do you know it’s murder?’

The Maltese smirks. You know how most people’s mashavi and their animals don’t line up?’ he says. ‘Well, in Amira’s case, they do. She’s attracted to carrion. Mainly murder scenes, although she does like a good traffic pile-up. Isn’t that right, sweetie?’

The Marabou smiles in acknowledgement, if you can call the faint twitch of her mouth a smile.

The paramedics emerge from the building with a stretcher carrying a sealed grey plastic body bag. They hoist it into the ambulance. ‘Excuse me,’ I say and push through the crowd. The paramedic shuts the double doors behind the stretcher, signalling the driver to kill the lights with a wave of his hand. The dead don’t need to beat the traffic. But I have to ask anyway.

‘That Mrs Luditsky in there?’

‘You a relative?’ The paramedic looks disgruntled. ‘’Cos unless you are, it’s none of your business, zoo girl.’

‘I’m an employee.’

‘Tough breaks, then. You should probably stick around. The cops are gonna want to ask you some questions.’

‘Can you tell me what happened?’

‘Let’s just say she didn’t pass in her sleep, sweetheart.’

The ambulance gives one strangled whoop and pulls out onto the road, taking Mrs Luditsky with it. I grip the ring in my pocket, hard enough to embed the imprint of the sapphires into my palm. Sloth nuzzles into my neck, hiding his face. I wish I could reassure him.

‘Ugly business,’ the Maltese tuts, sympathetically.

‘Like it’s any of yours.’ I’m suddenly furious. ‘You with the cops?’

‘God, no!’ He laughs. ‘Unfortunately for this one,’ he says, nodding at the Marabou, ‘there’s no real money in ambulance chasing.’

‘We’re sorry for your loss,’ the Marabou says.

‘Don’t be,’ I say, ‘I only met her the one time.’

‘What was it that you were doing for the old lady anyway? If I may ask? Secretarial? Grocery runs? Nursing?’

‘I was finding something for her.’

‘Did you get it?’

‘Always do.’

‘But sweetie, what a marvellous coincidence! Oh, I don’t mean marvellous, like oh, how marvellous your employer just died. That’s ghastly, don’t get me wrong. But the thing is, you see–’

‘We’re also looking for something,’ the Marabou cuts in.

‘Precisely. Thank you,’ the Maltese says. ‘And, if that’s, you know, your talent? I’m guessing that’s your talent? Then maybe you could help.’

‘What sort of something?’

‘Well, I say something, but really, I mean someone.’

‘Sorry. Not interested.’

‘But you haven’t even heard the details.’

‘I don’t need to. I don’t do missing persons.’

‘It’s worth a lot to us.’ The bird on Marabou’s back flexes its wings, showing off the white fléchettes marking the dark feathers. I note that they’re clipped, and that its legs are mangled, twisted stubs. No wonder she has to carry it. ‘More than any of your other jobs would have paid.’

‘Come on, sweetie. Your client just turfed it. Forgive me being so frank. What else are you going to do?’

‘I don’t know who you are–’

‘An oversight. I’m sorry. Here.’ The Marabou removes a starched business card from her breast pocket and proffers it between scissored fingers. Her fingernails are immaculately manicured. The card is blind embossed, white on white in a stark sans serif font.

Marabou & Maltese
Procurements

‘And procurements means what exactly?’

‘Whatever you want it to, Ms December,’ the Marabou says.

Sloth grumbles in the back of his throat, as if I need to be told how dodgy this just turned. I reach out for their lost things, hoping to get anything on them, because they obviously have something on me.

The Maltese is blank. Some rare people are. They’re either pathologically meticulous or they don’t care about anything. But it still creeps me out. The last person I encountered with no lost things at all was the cleaning lady at Elysium. She threw herself down an open elevator shaft.

My impressions of the Marabou’s lost things are weirdly vivid. It must be the adrenaline sharpening my focus – all that hormone soup in your brain messes with mashavi big time. I’ve never been able to see things this clearly. It’s strange, like someone switched my vaseline-slathered soft-focus perspective for a high-definition paparazzi zoom-lens.

I can make out the things tethered to her in crisp detail: a pair of tan leather driving gloves, soft and weathered by time. One of them is missing a button that would fasten it at the wrist. A tatty book, pages missing, the remainder swollen with damp, the cover half-ripped off. I can make out sepia branches, a scrap of title, ‘The Tree That-’. And a gun. Dark and stubby, with retro curves, like a bad prop from a 70s sci-fi show. The image is so precise I can make out the lettering on the side: ‘Vektor’.

Oblivious to me discreetly rifling through their lost things, the Maltese presses me, grinning. His painted Dog grins too, pink tongue lolling happily between its sharp little teeth. ‘We really need your help on this one. I’d even say we can’t do it without you. And it pays very, very well.’

‘How can I say this? I don’t like people knowing my business.’

‘You advertise,’ the Marabou says, amused.

‘And I don’t like your attitude.’

‘Oh don’t mind Amira, she comes off mean, but she’s just shy, really,’ the Maltese says.

‘And I don’t like small dogs. So thanks, but you know, as far as I’m concerned, you should go fuck the carcass of a goat.’

The Maltese squinches up his face. ‘Oh, that’s disgusting. I’ll have to remember that one,’ he says.

‘Hang onto that,’ the Marabou indicates the card. ‘You might change your mind.’

‘I won’t.’

But I do.




Zoo City was written by Lauren Beukes, and is an excerpt from her book of the same name.
(Angry Robot, Sept 2010)

Copyright © Lauren Beukes 2010.



Lauren Beukes is the author of Zoo City (which won the 2011 Arthur C. Clarke Award), Moxyland, a corporate apartheid future thriller and the rollicking non-fiction, Maverick: Extraordinary Women From South Africa's Past. When she's not writing books, she writes short stories, TV scripts, feature journalism and directs documentaries.





12 June 2011

Understanding English by Ola Awonubi

London 1964

At first he thought the cold winds were going to snatch his heart out of his body. Nothing he had heard or read had prepared him for this. His favourite books on England eulogised about log fires, and crimson cheeked families drinking wine and eating lots of meat whilst singing hearty choruses. The cold was just a backdrop to all these stories - this cold that went deep into the parts a thousand jumpers and heavy coats could not keep warm.

This story has been selected for the annual StoryTime anthology African Roar 2012, please go to the African Roar site for more info.



Understanding English was written by Ola Awonubi.

Copyright Ola Awonubi 2011.



Ola Awonubi lives and works in London. She spent three years taking intermediate and advanced writing courses at the Centerprise Literature Development project in Hackney before studying for an MA in Creative writing and Imaginative Practice in 2009.

In 2008 her short story The Pink House, won first prize in the National words of colour competition and another short story of hers The Go-slow Journey, won the first prize in the fiction category for Wasafiri’s New writing prize 2009. Some of her short stories feature in African writing, Authortrek, YouWrite and Naijastories.

She is currently working on a collection of short stories based on the African experience, and a novel – a cross cultural romance that explores the social, political, cultural, and historical, ties that bind and divide the cultures.






08 June 2011

The Water was Hot by Binyerem Ukonu (Book Excerpt)

18B

She charged him five thousand naira just to unveil her bosom, and when they finally made love he paid five thousand naira extra for it. She was one of the money-miss-road girls we had in Bonny Island, where men of different races were always seen working for the oil and gas firm, either as main staff or contractors. After hectic work days, we all gathered around them for yet another night of I-love-you-I-love-you-not. Most of the girls around here reclined themselves on one white man or the other. They called them boyfriends. I have no boyfriend, especially since Francis – my French man – ran off the island because the raging youths would not let them be. He feared abduction more than its ransom. He did not want that at all. Since Francis went back to France, I have not had the appetite for another expatriate relationship. These days I only trade my body for money, since it is better than giving it for free and having nothing in return. I have friends in this trade as well.

Ibifiri kept telling me tales of her adventures. She had been paid heavily to dance nude before a man who was a top official of the oil and gas firm. It was to be part of his welcome pack, since he had just visited the island on official duty. It was from the money raised from the dance that she paid for her mother’s medical bills, and sent her brother back to school. It was from such dances that she built a small house in the village, bought herself a small car, and paid her rent on the island for two years. Ibifiri had always been a terrific dancer, swirling her waist, always respecting every bit. She had on various occasions travelled abroad with her expatriate men. It was because of such dances. “Most of the times,” she said, “we ended up not even doing the main thing”. She would always giggle while saying this. She wanted me to be as successful as she was. I wanted to be as successful as Ibifiri was.

I met her at the Visitors’ Centre. The Visitors’ Centre was where the guests of the residents were housed for a brief period, so they could be signed in for proper identification during their stay in the estate. They would be signed in even if they were to stay for a second. Guests were signed in by their hosts who were residents. The lady officer who usually presided over the documentation of guests would always woo us with her smiles, while entering our bio data and photographs. After this, she would issue us our identification cards, stating clearly the names of our hosts, and the period of stay. That night, we had no host. We never had hosts. We only stood by, waiting for admirers to give us the pass into the estate. Girls who had boyfriends in the estate would brag about how their passes were always readily available, even before they arrived at the centre. I once belonged to their class when Francis was a resident of the estate. Although I have always had my way into the estate, I still felt like a wet chicken, because I usually found myself begging either the estate spy police, or admirers who were residents of the prestigious estate. Since Francis left the island, I have never been signed in to stay for more than a day.

Ibifiri wore a denim skirt which only covered her upper bum, and a top that told the true tale of how much she hated a bra. Her breasts quaked as though they were not filled to their capacity with milk. Ibifiri’s skin was glossy that night. No man who could breathe in air passed her without looking back to make sure her back-side was worth her front. It was worth it. Those who did not turn - out of shame - were those who walked in and out with their wives or with men whom I suspected were their pastors. A man whistled, and the sound dribbled in the air and then faded away. Everyone at the Centre was triggered into gossip. They were obviously talking about Ibifiri, and how her hour-glass shaped body may have persuaded their little man. Ibifiri knew that all the attention was draining towards her, so she made her way to where I was standing, close to the water fountain and the phone booth. She needed company, she said. I needed her company, not just any company. I got it.

“Baby you’re looking hot tonight,” she said. The way she said “hot”, forcing her head to dance to the rhythm, made me feel she meant it. She sang the word. Hot.

“Really,” I replied. I so wished she was saying the truth. I needed to look hot. I was smiling, but my lips were not so sure of the smile-signal they were receiving from my head. She gave me a hug, and left me. I wished she would stay a little longer. I wished the people at the Centre had seen us hug. I wished they could say I was Ibifiri’s closest friend.

“I thought you said you were not coming,” she said, breaking my thoughts into pieces.

“Oh, I changed my mind”

“Good”

“I just couldn’t stay alone in the whole villa, while everyone was out searching for a nice catch.”

“Monkey Village, you mean”

“Yes,” I replied.

“Oh, I see,” she said. Ibifiri did not live in Monkey Village like some of us. She stayed in a well furnished bedroom flat along Hospital Road. “I’m out for Rao tonight. I got my eyes stinging him last night.”

“You mean you saw him at the Mojo Bar,” I tried hard to appear surprised.

“Yes, I did. And while they were leaving, he slipped a note in my palm.”

“Really?” I was surprised.

“Baby, no joke oh. I’m not kidding you.”

“How much?”

“Not money oh. He dropped a note,” she threw her hands into the air. “Here is the note”.

Baby, your so sexy.
We see tomorrow at happy hour.
Tracy travel tomorrow.
So, tomorrow we see.


“And what did you say to Rao?” I asked, after a few seconds of digesting those words. My tummy was burning.

“So you were not listening to me,” she laughed. “He was gone before I opened this note. I couldn’t have read it before Tracy. You know Tracy is a tiger, and she is Rao’s girlfriend.”

“But the note says she will be travelling. She must have travelled”

“Yes, she has,” she replied, “and that’s why I’m here with you.”

Every runs girl on the island dreaded Tracy. She was the beautiful girlfriend of the Indian, Rao, who danced alanta more than Terry G – the artist – could ever try. Tracy was biracial. Biracial was what we called half-cast. She was not only half-cast; she was a tall, light skinned and pretty half-cast, with long black hair. Tracy was not around that night, Ibifiri told me. She had travelled to Agbor, her hometown, to probably spray a little of the rupees on her family. Rao was to come to the Visitor’s Centre to sign Ibifiri in for four days. She was to be at the Happy Hour party with Rao tonight. Rao came to the centre around eight o’ clock in the evening, which was quite early. I caught a closer look at him, the closest I had ever caught. He was a dark skinned Indian, chubby, and had a black moustache on his upper lip, which seemed glued on. He was balding already. If Rao were Nigerian, he would have been mistaken for the popular TV comedy character, Papa Ajasco. That did not bother Ibifiri, who told me Rao was such a handsome guy. “He’s just in his mid-forties,” she whispered into my ears. “What a lie,” I whispered to myself. The Rao I saw was just a toe away from sixty. He walked into the centre with someone, a Nigerian. Rao introduced him as his friend, Henry. Henry was Yoruba. I could feel his tribe from the tone of his voice. He was as loud as a typical Yoruba man could be, and as we exchanged pleasantries, I noticed a few veins on his neck while he spoke. He seemed much younger than Rao, and more handsome of course. Ibifiri automatically handed me over to him. Maybe I was not officially handed over to him. Maybe I desperately clung to him, having no one to bail me out of the centre. I noticed the men spoke briefly. I also noticed they only spent a few seconds with a spy police officer, who signalled us to come along. We jumped into Henry’s white Hilux truck, and left the Visitors’ Centre, driving into the estate. There was traffic at the centre. That was why we were not able to get our identification cards, I thought to myself.

Henry was a rich engineer who was yet to find himself a wife. He was not like Rao, who left his family in Delhi for the love of money.

“Wives suck,” Henry said aloud. “I can’t stand my mum each time she calls me on the phone, asking me if I have found one”. He ordered a few tots of Campari for himself, two tots of Jack Daniels with a can of Power Horse for Rao, and some bottles of Heineken for both Ibifiri and me. I wanted to ask him if I could also have, at least, a tot of Martini Rosso, but courage failed me before we left the barman. We settled outside the club house, close to the beautiful playground. That spot was usually Rao’s best spot, Ibifiri whispered into my ears. I believed her. Henry said beer worked well with cashew nuts, and so Rao left to ask for some. It was then that I threw my eyes upon my man. Henry appeared well-educated. He was well-educated. The way he spoke - as though he was singing a hypnotic song - made me see him as one of those rich kids who studied at universities abroad. I wanted to ask him if he schooled in Aberdeen, because that was where most of our rich kids went for their second degrees. It was in Aberdeen that Geoffrey, my cousin, learnt how to pronounce Father as Farva. It was all because his father, my uncle, was a rich man who made sure his bag of money was well-tailored to avoid any leakage. Henry was a tall man. He wore denim jeans that slumped on a pair of red snickers with a clean white face. He smelt of Rock Night perfume, I guessed. Rock Night was what most of my men who had just come back from a vacation in the United Kingdom wore. Henry wore only a white body fit v-neck t-shirt that exposed his beautiful wrist watch. He did not only smell of Rock night. He also smelt of naira notes all over. It drew my senses away from Rao, Ibifiri, and the other man that later joined our table.

I am like one of those money-minded girls in Bonny Island who denied affection and always pronounced that they could never fall in love. To my surprise, I became hyperactive and lost my brains.

“And do you have a girlfriend?” I broke the silence. Rao had come back with a saucer of cashew nuts.

“Babe, you mean?” he inquired, running his tobacco stained finger through the ridges of his nostrils, and into them.

“Yes,” I said. Everyone on our table was watching and waiting for his word. Ibifiri was scratching her palms. Rao was drumming his wine cup with his fingers. I paid no attention to what the third guy was doing.

“Oh, hell no,” he said, saying nothing else thereafter.

There was relief in the air. Everyone was laughing at his answer to my question. I was laughing, but my laughter was that of triumph. Henry was single.

We danced so much that night. Henry held unto my waist, sometimes pressing so hard. He held me close to his belt. I felt him growing between his legs. All my senses ran down to my waist, wanting to feel him more. I imagined running a razor down the back of my skirt, so I could feel him on my skin. I smiled. But, of course, that could have hindered my night with him. I did not want Henry to smell that I was that cheap. I had to behave. I managed to push in my waist once in a while. It was all fun. It was the night we had a few celebrities in the island. Basket Mouth interfered once in a while and thrilled us with his rib-cracking tales. Wande Coal made me push in further into Henry when he sang Bumper-to-Bumper.

We left the venue at midnight. Henry was in a haste to have a taste of me. I was in a haste too, but pretended all I needed was his money. I pretended because that was all a girl like me would ask for - money. I sat in the front seat, with Henry driving the Hilux. Ibifiri sat at the back with Rao, doing some eighteen-and-above stuff. She was moaning already. It was not long before we dropped them off at Rao’s place. “Play safe, and make some dough,” she whispered into my ears. I knew she meant it. Those words were not influenced by alcohol, the way her other words that night were. They soon faded behind us as we drove away. I watched her through the side mirror and saw the beautiful, tall street lights increasing in number, vanishing, and shining above her head. Henry was still smoking, driving, singing jazz, and saying something about Bonny Island being very much like Paris at night. If only I could catch every drop of liquid that spat from his lip as he spoke, or maybe kiss those lips. No one kisses a hooker .

“I’m only three months on this island,” he continued. “I’ve been working in the UK for a year now. I find it more interesting working for the company on the home front. There’s so much fun everywhere you go. Can’t you see? It’s all fun”. He said “fun” as if he knew what I had planned for him that night.

Henry’s house was not a house. It was a self-contained bedroom. It was a port cabin. It had a bedroom with a well dressed bed that had the first bed-sheet laid (the second bed-sheet laid half way) and covered with a white duvet. His bedroom had a kitchen area, which was close to the convenience.

“This is my transit home. My official house will be ready in a short time,” he explained. “You know I just came into the island three months ago”. I was cleared of the doubts. I now understood why he lived in RA2, rather than RA1, which was where Rao stayed. Soon he would join the Indian at RA1, I said to myself, and I would be visiting or even staying there, if I’m allowed.

Henry wanted us to bathe together under the shower. I nodded a yes and he smiled, exposing his immaculate white teeth. His teeth had never tasted any meal made with red oil, I told myself. He ran into the bathroom and set the shower. By the time my man was out, I had already undressed, wearing only my g-string . I was sitting in the bed when Henry walked out of the bathroom. He stood and gazed at me for a while. He grew between his legs again, thrusting his boxer shorts towards me. I smiled. He smiled. He said the proper temperature had been set for our bath. I followed while he led me in. It was the best bath I had ever had with a man. Henry carefully painted me with lather, running the sponge from my neck down to my waist. When he got to my breasts, he made circular movements, which made me feel like asking him not to stop. I said nothing, so I could savour every tiny thing he did with my body. Henry was not like any of my customers, who could not care less about my body. They only cared about getting in and getting out. When he got to my privates he acted like the gentleman he was. He let me have the sponge, so I could do it my way. I did it my way. When it finally got to my turn to bath Henry, I did it my way too. “You’re such a beauty,” he said to me after I had completely bathed him. I felt this comfort in my temple. At that point, I became Julia Roberts, and he became Richard Gere. When the soaps left their bodies, Richard kissed Julia deep, their tongues wetting each others. I felt the relief. I had gone about eight years without a kiss. I have to think of money first before love, I told myself. It was then that I carefully drew away from his embrace. Henry wiped my body with his white towel before he wiped his body. I walked out before him, sought for his t-shirt, wore it quickly, and drowned in his bed, covering my legs with the blue duvet.

1:00 am. I felt his fingers walk from my belly towards my breasts. I loved the way he did it in rhythm. I let out a moan, and that was when I remembered why I had gone home with Henry.

“Henry, wait,” I cried, “I would really want to sleep. We could do this later”. That was all I could say at that point in time.

“You want to sleep?” he sat up, put on the side light, and frowned, forming ripples on his fore head. Little drops of anger dropped on me, staining my heart. I immediately sat up as well.

“What do you mean, Henry?” I bounced on him. “You think I’ll come to your room, and you’ll fuck me without an agreement. You must be kidding. If I need a fuck, I can get it anywhere. I can even get it from the road side mechanic in front of my house.”

“What are you talking about?” he sounded ignorant of what I was saying. Blood ran into my head, and I felt the weight. I wanted to offer him a slap, but it was too early for that.

“Twelve thousand naira,” I said. “Final!”

“Twelve what?”

“I said if you want to fuck me, you’ll pay me twelve thousand naira for that,” I started explaining in a harsh tone, “and if you don’t fuck me, you’ll pay six thousand for the kisses and touches that you have already received.” It became clear to him. He obviously thought he would have it free that night.

“Em em em,”

“My name?” I asked. “You don’t know my name. Shame on you! I’ll never let you know. And guess what?”

“Wha wha what?” his voice had gradually become unsteady.

“You must fuck oh,” I let out a loud cry. Henry tried hushing me, so the next door neighbour would not hear us. I knew at that point that I had sanitized him of the alcohol influence in him. “You must fuck me, cos I need it too,” I continued. “If you do, wahala dey! I’ll give you problem. Then, if you don’t, more wahala dey.”

“I’ll simply throw you out of my room,” he said. He knew it was a lie. He knew if he tried throwing me out, I could raise hell, and that would involve the neighbourhood, and even the spy police who would, in turn, take up the incidence. That could jeopardize his dreams of working for the company. I could even destroy the TV set, I let him know.

“You think I don’t know you let me in illegally,” I said. “Where is my pass card? I’m sure you know it’s a crime that you and your friend committed.”

“What do you want from me?” he pleaded. Henry was sweating. I picked the ac remote and set it at eighteen degrees, to reduce the heat.

“I’m here to sack you,” I replied. I drew the t-shirt towards my head, and threw it on the floor. “Come on baby boy. It won’t hurt in any way. You’ll enjoy it, and never regret the price. I’m even giving you a low price, because you’re new and the fact that I’m on sale”. I held his hands, caressed him, and kissed him so hard. Henry did not kiss me. I kissed him, but I did not mind. I let him go, and that was when he drew out a stick from his pack of cigarettes, and left the room. The truth was that I needed to feel the thrust of a man. I did not just need a man, I needed Henry, but I was not about to let him have me free of charge. If I give him free, Ibifiri will mock me tomorrow, and call me oshofree – free giver, I thought to myself. That was not about to happen.

2:30 am. Henry walked into the room at last. I was so cold, and needed him to hold me. He slumped by my side, held me so strong. I kissed him, but this time he kissed me back. He kissed my neck severally, and I moaned aloud. I felt his thrust in me, and I moaned the more. He was as good as I dreamed he would be. He was as good as sex itself. It took a little longer before he became light and collapsed on top of me. He was moaning. I moaned as well. I felt his heart beat. Henry was heavily tensed. He slipped from my body and rested by my side, snoring like a baby.

3:30 am. Henry was not a staff of the company. He only came for an employment interview, which would be that morning. He met Rao a few years ago. He was a corps member with the NYSC, serving in Enugu. Rao was a consultant with a construction company handling a dualization project at Nsukka. Both men met at a certain club, and became friends. Rao liked Henry for the way he brought women with ease. He had booked Henry into a room, and released his company vehicle to him. Henry really needed that job. He had already passed through the first and second stages. The third stage was just as good as the job itself. He told me all that while counting my money. He woke me up to plead with me to accept ten thousand naira from him.

“Young man, this is small,” I raised my voice again.

“Baby, please don’t do this to me,” he cried. “It’s all I have. I don’t even have any other note for my journey back home.”
“Liar!”

“No, I’m not.”

“Yes, you are,” I said. My voice dropped. “You bought all the drinks last night. You think I’m drunk? I saw it all.”

“Rao paid for all the drinks,” he said. “He gave me the money in the toilet at the club house. He said he wanted me to be the big boy of the house.”

“And how much was that?”

“He gave me twenty thousand naira”

“But you spent seven thousand”

“No,” he wept this time. “Everything was ten thousand naira. This is what is left”. Henry stretched out the hand with the money towards me, signalling me to accept. It was quite a temptation. TEN THOUSAND NAIRA IN A NIGHT. A good deal, I thought, but I could try pushing him a little harder.

“How much is a bottle of Heineken?”

“Three hundred and fifty naira,” he answered.

“Small ones?”

“Yes”

“And how many did the bar man keep on our table?”

“He brought eight bottles,” he explained. “You had three bottles each with your friend. I had two, with four tots of Campari. Rao had no beer.”

“You mean you spent two thousand eight hundred naira on the beer?”

“I swear,” he licked his sweaty finger. “Rao drank two cans of Power Horse with six tots of Jack Daniels.”

“And that’s how much?”

“Em - - em- -”

“Don’t you ever lie to me.”

“Jack Daniels is four hundred naira a tot,” he continued. “Rao had six, which means –”

“Two thousand four hundred naira,” I screamed. “I’m not a moron. Please go ahead.”

“Ok,” he followed my orders. “Eight hundred naira was spent for two cans of Power Horse. This means we’ve recorded about six thousand naira spent so far”. I could not believe how swift Henry was with summation of figures. They way he calculated the total amount spent that night sent shivers into my veins. He is going to come out smiling from that interviewing room, I thought to myself. We are still four thousand naira to go, I thought as well, and he must explain the shortage.

“Six hundred naira was for the cigarettes,” he said.

“How –”

“Two packs,” he cut in. He knew where I was paddling to. He smiled. He slid the knife through my throat, he thought. “I bought David Faghali some drinks,” he continued. “You know he’s Rao’s colleague and friend”.

“Liar!” I cursed him. I did not mean to curse him that way. I only needed to panic him.

“Sugar, I’m not lying in any way”

“Beer?”

“Martini Rosso. Two tots and a can of Red Bull. Martini is sold for four hundred naira per tot, and I’m sure you know how much Red Bull is sold at the club.”

“Yes, I know. It’s the same with Power Horse,” I said. “That’s one thousand two hundred naira extra.”

“Yes.”

“That must be all we bought. I’m sure, Henry.”

“Yes,” he said.

“Then, where is the two thousand two hundred naira left?”

“You mean?”

“Yes, I mean the balance. We only have ten thousand naira here. Where is the remaining?” Henry picked up his trousers from the floor, counted the money, and gave to me. It was complete. I had twelve thousand two hundred naira to boast of. I had beaten the record set by my friend, Ibifiri. Later today, when we meet, I’ll let her know what I was paid, I whispered to myself. I would never let her know how I got to be paid so much. She would call me a wicked bitch, and would never wish to be out at night with me again. All the other girls would curse me for being smarter than they. They would say I was desperate. I did not care anyway. I was just a broke ass, who only needed to have some good money. I only used my head.

5:30 am. I stood, dressed up and admired myself in front of the wall mirror. Henry was still asleep. He was sleeping like a baby. My heart fell for him. I only needed some money for my upkeep. I did not know how the money was meant to be made available. Maybe treating Henry the way that I did was the only way I could have been blessed. I was blessed anyway. I decided not to let him see my back. While I slowly shut the door, as I was leaving, my eyes fell on what was written on the door. It was a plastic carving. It was the room number. It was Room 18B. I read it aloud. I was the only one who heard my voice. No one was listening. Residents were still in their bedrooms enjoying the rest of the weekend. The birds were singing and a few cats were still waking up. I saw a lizard close to the door. It was a spoilt lizard; those that never thought of fleeing as soon as a human came close. It only lay still, and stared me in the eyes. I heard it call me a wicked woman. It was not the only thing that blamed me for what I did. The moon also did. It hid inside the clouds as soon as I looked into the sky.

I am not that wicked, I told myself. I gave Henry two thousand two hundred naira back, and left with ten thousand naira. I did not care that there were lies in his words. A small bottle of Heineken was not sold for three hundred and fifty naira as he said. It was only two hundred naira. There were also lies in the prices of the different tots that he mentioned. I did not tell him I knew he lied. The truth is that I felt guilty. He was asleep when the guilt hit me. I picked up his trousers, slid the money into his pocket, and smiled. That would be enough for him for a day. I wanted to be sure he had some more money, which was why I pushed and threatened him harder to confess he had more money.



18B was written by Binyerem Ukonu and is an short story excerpt from his collection The Water was Hot.
(Serene Woods, 2011)

Copyright © Binyerem Ukonu 2011.



Binyerem Ukonu is an architect, poet and novelist. He is published online, and in print magazines, such as Pyramid Magazine and Twilight Musings of the International Library of Poetry. He is a co-founder of The Literary Club, Owerri. Born in a family of six on the 11th day of July 1982, Binyerem is the only son of Sir Sydney and Lady Chinyere (late). He is the author of Ekwurekwu – a meal of verse (poetry). With a degree in Architecture, a diploma in Gas, and a diploma in Creative Writing, he is constantly working on widening his knowledge. He lives and works in Bonny Island, and is presently researching for his debut novel. He can be reached at binyeremukonu at ovi.com






05 June 2011

Identity by William Tekede

Abisha’s hostility and careless utterances were a sleaze that cracked Julie. His sudden outbursts were triggered by misunderstandings between his wife and his sister Julie. The hostility exhibited by Abisha that afternoon led to several scuffles between the two of them, which sucked in their aunt, uncle, and their father. The war of words that erupted between brother and sister proved difficult to quell. For Julie, the few weeks that followed the death of their mother, Chenayi, had been a roller coaster. She had had many sleepless nights pondering over her seemingly bleak future.

Julie had noted with disgust the increasing hatred between her and her brother Abisha since the death of their mother two months ago – she had succumbed to cervical cancer. After the scuffles of that afternoon, Julie concluded that if the death of their mother had left her this vulnerable, then there was no reason for her to stay any longer. She deeply felt that her relationship with Abisha had gone down to the wire.

She quickly packed her bags and threatened to leave. Only intervention of their aunt, uncle, and father, helped her to stay overnight and see the memorial service through.

When, Julie walked out of the homestead in the early hours of the following morning. She didn’t say good-bye to anyone. Nobody knew where she had planned to go. They all assumed that she was going back to Kariba; where she had been renting a room prior to the death of their mother. Her aunt Muchanyara tried to find out where she was headed. Julie had told her point-blank, that she was following the wind.

She found herself waiting at a bus stop along the Harare-Kariba highway; scratching her head with a wooden hair pin wondering what to do next, or rather where to go from here. At first she thought of going to Kariba just as everyone had guessed. But on second thoughts, she decided against taking that route for no apparent reason.

While she was still suffering from indecision and tossing a coin in her mind wondering where to go, the sound of a horn startled her. It came from a black BMW with tinted windows that had stopped to pick her up. Julie quickly jumped into it thinking that she was going to Kariba. She only realised that they were travelling in the opposite direction when the driver asked her how far she was going. She looked straight ahead and did not even turn to face the enquirer when she responded. “I’m going to Kariba and you may drop me off at Makuti turn if you are going straight to Zambia via Chirundu”.

“Sister, you are not serious, how is that possible when I am driving to Harare?”

Julie quickly turned her head, and looked directly into the eyes of the young man at the steering wheel. She had her mouth wide open but no words came out, she only managed to place her palm over it. That’s when she realised that she had been standing on the wrong side of the road.

Her stare almost sent the car off the road. The young man was not sure whether he was frightened by Julie’s seriousness, or stunned by her beauty, when he had taken that dangerous swerve. He decided to act gentlemanly. “I’m so sorry sister. This road is in a very bad shape and full of pot-holes. The one I avoided is actually a fish pond.”

“OK, you can drop me in Karoi,” she said.

He was relieved but his relief was short lived. At that moment, they were already 5 km's out of Karoi and Julie hadn’t noticed. The young man gathered his courage and said, “We are already 5 km away, and we are not moving but cruising my dear sister.”

Julie responded with a soft, “Oh my god...”

“Don’t worry much, I can drop you at any place of your convenience,” said the young man, and added, “But if you don’t mind, I am driving to Harare today, and tomorrow morning I will be on this road on my way to DRC and I can take you to Kariba then.”

What followed after was an exchange of introductory formalities, and after a brief talk about current political and social issues, Julie politely asked Yakubu to excuse her so she could take a nap. Her request was granted with due respect and soon she was asleep.

Yakubu took the advantage of her sleeping to study her very closely. He didn’t need a qualified beauty therapist to convince him. Julie was immaculate, a stunning beauty to say the least. But he remained worried. Each time he looked at her, he couldn’t help it but summoned all the cells in his body to nod and say a soft 'beautiful'. But, what frustrated him a bit was the fact that no matter how much he had tried, he failed to understand Julie’s mental state. Even as she remained asleep she still looked troubled. She could be a wounded tiger at heart, but for Yakubu it was love at first sight.

In that deep sleep Julie had a dream. She was taken to a vivid memory of an incident that took place at a borehole in the jungles of Hurungwe in mid-October of 1972; when she was a tender six years old. It was an incident which had made a lasting impression.

After having arrived at her grandmother’s place in the middle of the night before, she found herself queuing for water in the early hours of the following morning with an old battered two-litre Juice container. Julie’s mother held her hand and carried a twenty-five-litre tin with her other palm pushed against the brim as it swung with the motion of her walking.

Multitudes of people had already gathered to fetch the precious liquid. Water shortages were at the peak in that year of terrible drought. It was the only borehole serving their community. As soon as they arrived, the eyes of all present were transfixed on her. Julie had grown up at Mhondoro Farm and had never attracted such attention in her life. A very old woman asked “Ko kaMurungudunhu kekwaani aka?”(Whose Half-White kid is this?), but there was no response.

That remark was archived in young Julie’s mind. Later in life Julie had grilled her mother to explain that word Murungudunhu. This her mother did though with some difficulty. During her narration, a cat had leapt out of the bag and there was pandemonium in the hearts of mother and daughter. But at the end of it, mother and child embraced as they shared their sobs in grief. Those tears cemented a very strong bond between them, a bond that even the death of her mother failed to break.

Julie woke from that deep slumber, only to find herself being ushered into a beautiful house in the Harare city suburb of Sunningdale, as she wiped away the tears from her dream.

“Welcome to my place Julie. Don’t feel at home, but be at home.” With those few words, Yakubu disappeared into one of the many rooms of this house and came out after a few minutes. He headed straight to the refrigerator from where he retrieved a very cold soft drink that he placed on the table together with a drinking glass. He offered Julie the drink without the courtesy of asking her what she wanted. He looked at her, smiled broadly and said, “Enjoy your drink, relax and take care. I will see you soon.”

Julie only summoned a weak smile and waved goodbye as he headed for the main door. After he was gone, Julie stretched her hand, grabbed the soft drink and emptied the contents to the brim of the glass but didn’t drink. Instead her attention was caught by the book that laid on the table, titled, 'The Prisoners of Jebs' written by Ken Saro-Wiwa. She absent-mindedly found herself flipping randomly through its pages and ended up reading this statement.

'When a people are confused and lack confidence in themselves and in each other, they are likely to undertake foolish adventures.'

Julie immediately stopped reading and thought about her journey to Harare in Yakubu’s car. Her heart pounded very fast as she realised that she had put her life into the hands of a stranger and was now shivering. She cried a few tears, but soon she fell asleep; the many sleepless nights and exhaustion had caught up with her.

Yakubu meanwhile had gone to check on his small shop that he hand recently opened at Market Square, otherwise now known as the Chinese Complex. It was an outlet for footwear, electric gadgets, and cosmetics. “Hello Joseph, how is business my friend?” He greeted and enquired from his salesman.

“Business is good. Those jeans from DRC are hot. They were sold out yesterday afternoon,” Joseph replied.

“You are not serious. That sounds too good to be true. Thank God. OK, fine, let’s talk about that this evening,” he said and walked out the store. He had a personal meeting with his salesman later that evening.

Yakubu passed by Pizza Inn and bought a large pizza, two half chicken pieces, and two large chips, to take-away and drove home.

When he entered his house, Julie was still on the sofa, asleep where he had left her seated in the spacious lounge. Yakubu noticed a glass on the table was still full, in his mind he thought and concluded that this lady must be a sick woman. However, he went on to very cautiously awaken her and they ate lunch together.

Julie took this opportunity to appraise Yakubu about her life, and the appraisal was received with lots of sympathy. Yakubu asked her to stay with him while she recuperated from her nasty differences with Abisha. Julie thanked him and agreed to stay.


One day two weeks after their arrival in Harare, Julie and Yakubu were having their super when he decided to once more broach his thoughts of marriage. He had just arrived from his travels, and had a golden chain and a diamond ring concealed in the pocket of a brand new shirt he had bought in Dubai. He started by saying, “This country is beautiful, I wish I can stay here longer or forever.”

“So why can’t you?” Julie responded.

Very quietly he slotted his hand in his pocket, retrieved the concealed contents, slowly handed them over, and said with a smile, “Marry me and I can simply pay a deaf ear to the political events taking place here and stay. Julie… would you marry me?”

It was the third time he had asked in two weeks. Julie considered his request once more and found no reason to turn down his offer. Yet there was only one thing nagging her. It was a big stumbling block. It was her identity. Her own brother had rejected her for it. The scuffles of that afternoon came back to her mind and found no reason why Yakubu would not do the same later on. “Yakubu, you are a generous and good man, but I am sorry I can’t marry you,” Julie said this for the third and last time, she hoped.

Though they talked about it late into the night, Julie never changed her position, but did agree that she would try and find him a suitable woman to marry. Julie accepted the golden chain and Yakubu kept the diamond ring. He in return offered her employment in his second shop that he had recently established at Xmax Mall opposite the Harare Central Post Office.


One Saturday, Julie thought of visiting ABC Auctioneers near Arcadia Shopping Centre. Two days before she had found a room to rent in the Arcadia suburb and needed to buy furniture and other household utensils. Yakubu had given her a substantial amount, enough to cater for her three months rentals in the most expensive up-market suburb of Borrowdale. Her domestic chores were another sinecure. Her weekly wages gave her an added advantage. But, she needed to save money for her unknown future requirements.

Yakubu had dropped her at Arcadia Shopping Centre on his way to Chitungwiza. She strolled down a side lane that led to the auction floors, and once inside bought quite an assortment of goods that included a double bed. These were then delivered to her home by two teenage coloured boys driving an old fashioned pick up truck. This was all against Yakubu’s advice; he wanted her to stay with them. Although Julie had never requested any money from Yakubu, she realised that she had been a constant drain on his financial resources. She had become a gluttonous monster that constantly had to be fed, even if Yakubu never seemed to mind at all.

By all standards, Yakubu was very successful. His success was something that could not only be linked to the two shops he was running. One manned by Joseph at Chinese complex and the other by Yakubu’s new wife Monica and Julie at Xmax Mall – Monica and Julie were old friends from Kariba. In the few weeks she had lived with him, Julie had established that Yakubu was politically very well connected. Most of his political friends visited him at night. He would quickly usher them into his sanctum. There they would stay a few minutes before they said good-bye. It was the same routine with several high ranking police officers and successful business personalities. The number of visits and visitors significantly increased each time Yakubu had visited Chief Chiadzwa’s fields in Marange. However, Julie had her own problems to take care of and with that in mind she remained un-bothered by these comings and goings. But after Yakubu bribed a Marriage Officer and married Monica, Julie felt that it was proper for her to leave them to enjoy their marriage, while she went on to enjoy her new independence.


At her new residence in Arcadia, Julie befriended a woman called Joanne and some of the other tenants. They were mostly young couples who drank heavily, were chain smokers, and always fighting with each other. At first she felt disturbed and wanted to leave, but she found comfort in their oneness, a sense of shared identity. When they sat down to narrate their histories, they found out that they had a lot in common. They were all products of illegitimate sexual relationships, and this made Julie want to stay as she had found herself a new family.

Her new family members seemed to be more informed about their roots. Something in Julie told her they could prove to be handy in the long journey to establishing her true identity. In no time, Julie found herself making numerous errands to the National Archives of Zimbabwe accompanied by Joanne. Here they met a whole bunch of other people in similar predicaments, and others researching on many different subjects. Popular subjects researched on included deceased estates, citizenship and title deeds, to name just a few.

During their first few visits, Julie was put off by the routine of having to fill in their personal details in a number of registers every day. Filling in request slips was another bore, but she later learnt that these were necessary routine inconveniences. At first she would often have problems with staff wanting to do things their own way. She thought that they were being treated unfairly and concluded that it was because of their identity. However, Julie vowed to follow every instruction religiously. She was determined to uncover something about her past that was hidden in the mass of published and unpublished documentary heritage, housed in the archives. Her search seemed like it was a wild goose chase, and was made difficult by the fact that she had very sketchy information about her real roots.

After weeks of fruitless searching, she felt she had come to a dead end. Very often she had heard staff members referring to researchers of her kind as 'troublesome and confused noisy gold diggers'. It may have been true in certain circumstances. But in her case, she took it to be a misconception and an uncalled for malicious insult. She felt deeply hurt but could not let such pain distract her.

Frustrated by the time she had spent digging through old dusty files, and sitting in front of the micro-film reader viewing deceased estate records, Julie walked out of the reading room. She ignored the lady Control Desk Officer on duty, but noticed someone through the big glass used by staff as an observation post. It was a fairly old male officer who seemed to be more receptive and more helpful. Going by the laws of magnetism, Julie was naturally attracted. Though this man was crowded by other researchers, Julie waited for her turn as the man dug into several catalogues.

“Sekuru, help me find my father’s record, please. His name is Murefu (Tall man).” Little did she know that she had made an appeal that brought her short lived joy? “I am a product of the shit that came out of two people who were having a nice time,” was another self-depreciating statement she added to her introduction.

“I understand your frustration and where you are coming from. Try and forgive those guys. The Miscegenation Act worsened the situation,” the old man responded.

“What’s that?” Julie enquired.

“It was an Act, a statutory instrument that prohibited racial inter-marriages between blacks and whites,” said the old male officer.

“Oh! Bastards, they crafted that and went on to screw our mothers and then disowned us,” Joanne, Julie’s friend belted from behind her.

After probing for a bit more information and calming them down, the officer told Julie and Joanne to wait while he went to check for information in the library. They watched him go down a passage and disappear into the library. When he came out a few minutes later, he was holding two old books in his hands. One was a very large telephone directory and the other was a small one. Julie and her friend wondered what game this man was playing with them. They had been used to seeing voluminous things, be they books or files. In the smaller book he had found a list of District Commissioners which showed their pseudonyms also. Five of them shared the pseudonym, ‘Murefu’. They were dotted around Rhodesia’s districts. One of them was a District Commissioner in Lomagundi. His real name was T. F. Drier.

In the old directory, there were short biographies of T. F. Drier, and T. F. Drier, Jnr. The senior Drier was said to be a retired District Commissioner and a renowned farmer who owned farms around Sinoia. The younger Drier was a District Commissioner who had been stationed at the Karoi District Office and also owned farms within the surroundings.

It was only now that Julie recalled the name Drier. She had seen the name pencilled on a receipt her father, Paradzai, had been issued when he bought a singer machine from his boss at Mhondoro farm. That receipt was in a family archive her family had kept over many years. She kept this information in her heart as they waited to see what the old man would do with information he had in hand.

They watched again as the officer this time went up the corridor, reached the end of it, turned right, and disappeared. He was accompanied by a Senior Office Orderly. The two spent more time in the repository than he had spent alone in the library. When they finally reappeared, the orderly was pushing an intimidating trolley full of boxes of files and some old books. The old officer was carrying one fairly old thick file in his hands.

“Oh! My God, not all that again,” remarked Julie and Joanne in chorus. But all the same, Julie had flexed her muscles and brace for the impending challenge. She was encouraged by her heuristic learning.

Some time later, when Julie felt exhausted, and wanted something light to read, she ended up reading articles published by Salisbury Publicity Association. They chronicled the deplorable ill-treatment of African domestic servants by their masters. She realised that many bad, very bad, things had happened, and her own mother had been such a victim. Even though she was not privy to details of the abuse her mother had suffered, she had been born as a result of such ill-treatment. She had long harboured a grudge against her mother over her birth. Julie was the eldest out of two brothers and six sisters that made up their family. She was the only one with a different pigmentation. The ordeal her mother suffered was a result of Senior Drier’s visit to his son‘s Mhondoro farm. Chenayi was working there as a domestic servant. Julie’s father, Paradzai was employed as a tractor driver.

The Driers had had a party that saw her doing dishes until very late that night. Everyone had gone to sleep. Senior Drier in a drunken state had summoned her to the visitors’ room. It was there where she was viciously raped. The incident left Chenayi in vertigo and confusion that lived in her heart traumatised for many years. Nine months down the line the resuting baby was delivered in a small grass thatched hut they called their kitchen. What Chenayi brought forth on planet Earth was a coloured girl they named Julie. She was lucky to have been allowed to live. If she had been born in other communities, she would have never seen the light. Such kids were considered a cultural curse. If Julie had been born in such communities she would have been terminated and buried in the shortest possible time. Only a few, very old women would have witnessed her burial in a shallow grave along the banks of the nearest river.

Paradzai had made Julie’s birth an issue but was convinced by elders to accept responsibility. African tradition says if one is pregnant and hates someone, then she is likely to deliver someone who looks like the much hated one. From that day on, he accepted Julie as his own offspring and treated her like any of his other kids.

When she finished reading those terrible stories, Julie bowed her head down, silently made a little prayer and asked God to forgive her mother for the second time.

After her ordeal, Chenayi had reported senior Drier to his son and that was the end of the story. Senior Drier went into town the following morning and bought her new pants as replacement for the one he had destroyed. The gift of six new pants had been delivered as if they were a benefaction and yet they were an appreciation for rape, disgusting. Her boyfriend Paradzai was then promoted to Head Driver.

A few days after her ordeal, Chenayi consulted Ambuya to regain her vaginal tightness. Ambuya was renowned for the use of traditional herbs and did the assignment very well. Thus Chenayi had regained her lost virginity, and thereby successfully covered future eventualities. When she played intimate games with Paradzai that same week she bled to his delight. When she eloped three months afterwards the objective had been met. It was an abominable way of getting married but was culturally very much in order. Ambuya’s herbs were traced to have been the cause of the cervical cancer that later killed Chenayi as she had continued using them in her life.

In the file that was brought out of the repository, they found out that Senior Drier had died at St. Andrew Fleming’s (now Parirenyatwa) Hospital on 26 September 1968. Coincidentally it was the same day Julie celebrated her 2nd birthday. Junior Drier was killed in action in 1978 at the height of the liberation struggle. Among Senior Drier’s deceased estate record was his final will he had written shortly before his death. Julie had been appointed heir to Blackberry Farm in Sinoia.

When Senior Drier had visited his son, the main purpose was to celebrate his new acquisition. He had added another farm to his wealth. It was this farm he bequeathed to Julie. He had named this farm in honour of Chenayi. It was their favourite farm and the family lived there. When he died, senior Drier’s remains were buried there.

The morning that followed Julie’s discovery was an exciting one. Joanne, her other two friends from Arcadia, Monica, Yakubu, and herself drove to Chinhoyi. It was a team of six gallant fighters who went there and never fired a single bullet. On arrival they met an old and frail Mrs Jane Drier who confirmed Julie’s claim. She told them that Julie was supposed to have taken over the day she turned 18 years. But she did not know where to find Julie and she apologised for her failure to communicate. It was a convenient lie. She asked Julie to allow her to finish off the harvesting that was going on before she could officially hand over the farm. Julie had no intentions to settle. She had planned to sell the property and then go and live in UK. The late Drier’s estate had confered her with British citizenship status that she could now claim from the British Embassy in Harare.

A few months later, Blackberry farm was invaded by supposed war veterans of Zimbabwe’s liberation struggle. It was at the height of land re-distribution that had been marked by the marching of Chief Svosve’s people several months back. Julie lost her recently acquired inheritance. Blackberry farm remains a berry that she never chewed. That night she woke up in darkness and knelled down and prayed.

“Kuna baba vangu Paradzai, zvedi makaparadzwa sezita renyu. Amai vangu Chenayi, makachenamwoyo sezita renyu (To my father Paradzai, just like your name implies you were indeed robbed. To my mother Chenayi true to your name you are a good hearted woman). To Abisha my brother, I now fully understand and respect your conviction and sentimental feelings about our relationship, may you be forgiven. To Yakubu, may you be blessed for your generosity?”

At that juncture, she remembered that statement from Ken Saro-Wiwa’s ‘Prisoners of Jabs’, “When a people are confused and lack confidence in themselves and in each other, they are likely to undertake foolish adventures.” She took a heavy sigh and concluded her prayer. With her eyes fixed at the rafters inside her room and a piece of wire in hand, she concluded her prayer, “To Senior Drier, I’m sorry I can’t continue praying for my throat is stone dry.”



Identity was written by William Tekede.

Copyright © William Tekede 2011.



William Tekede was delivered on 16 June in the winter of 1967. He was born in the round pole and dagga hut, the family kitchen on Welcombe or Boss Mhosi’s farm which lies west of Karoi town along the road leading to Magunje Growth Point. The farm was popularly known as Mhondoro Farm.

In 1973, William started his primary education at Sengwe Primary School. This was after the family had left farm employment and resettled under chief Nyamhunga in the Hurungwe Tribal Trust Land. One Thursday afternoon in June 1978 the school was closed down at the height of the liberation struggle. This development saw William out of school for two years until 1980 when he resumed his education and enrolling for grade six at the same school. After completing grade seven, I then went on to do my secondary education at Pakame Secondary School in Shurugwi from 1982 to 1985. I enrolled to study Librarianship at Harare Polytechnic College from 1987 to 1989 and went back to further my studies from 2002 -2003. I worked in the Ministry of Home Affairs, Department of National Archives of Zimbabwe from June 1990 to September 2006. After 16 years of continuous service at the Archives, I relinquished my position as Acting Chief Librarian and joined National University of Science and Technology in Bulawayo in the city of kings on 2nd October 2006. In June 2008, I was seconded to run the newly established Graduate School of Business Library (GSB) where I am currently working as the GSB Librarian.

Discovering my potential as a writer came about while I was in secondary school. I used to enjoy writing shona poetry which captured the interest of my subject teacher as well as that of my classmates. This interest was watered down by lack of opportunities to publish until late 1990s when I started writing in English for the National Archives newsletter. That experience was a stepping stone. Before this, I used to write a lot in shona until one day I decided to take some of my works to Mai Chisamba. I remember visiting her at the Examinations Branch in Mount Pleasant and my works instantly captured her attention. This visit led to the canned broadcast on ZTV (AM Zimbabwe) of my presentation of one of my shona piece titled “Munhu hunhu” towards end of 1999. That experience was a great motivator. But due to pressure of work at the time I slithered. One day in 2004 some primary school children visited the National Archives to research on one of our national heroes as a school project. It was embarrassing to note that there was very little information available. It was then that I decided to write an article urging Zimbabweans to consider depositing historical material with the Archives. Fortunately it was published in the Herald on 15 September 2004. I followed up on this one with another one which was also published in the same paper on 23 September 2004. A few more others followed suite. That marked the beginning of my relationship with the press.

When I moved to Bulawayo in October 2006, I continued writing and sending my contributions to Chronicle and most of them are published. I enjoy doing this as a public/social service. Sometime in 2007, I received an e-mail from an ex-workmate at National Archives now living abroad who is a renowned author at Storytime informing me about her publications. When I started reading Sarudzayi Chifamba-Barnes’s works on the internet, my interest to write short stories was re-activated. I wrote three which I sent to Ivor W. Hartmann without expecting much out of it. But when he responded inviting me to join storytime authors, I felt like it was a call for me to unleash whatever was hidden under the screen of my intellectual stone. I feel being published on storytime is a result of my retrospective desire to become a writer that I have turned out to be and think that I can express myself much better in poetry. For now I think I will concentrate in this area and will strive to continue writing verses in English and Shona.





01 June 2011

Africa, where art thou? by Abigail George (Book Excerpt)

Introduction

It is very hard to fall in love with something and give yourself over to it completely. Why do I write? I pay attention to what came before and then I fast forward to a time when I sense people will come after me – when I am no longer here – who will survive their own possession of a third World War inside their minds more than anywhere else. I think about their lives and what impact my writing will have on them in the future.

Nothing has really seemed to change for the teenagers – I write for them too (those who have not known any happiness or peace of mind in their lives, any warmth or emotional sensitivity, I feel love for them and empathy and this is the only way that I can express what I think and feel because when I speak, the words are not often there) who are growing up on the wrong side of the tracks in my neighbourhood. It has made me want to claim an identity for myself that is not a bitter pill to swallow. I am not a black South African. I am a coloured African who represents a disenfranchised, marginalized youth who are on the whole ignored, seen as an unwanted burden because we do not seem to fit the mould – rich and educated. Our lives are shadowed by loss until we stop for death.

When are the leaders in this country going to do something about the demotivated youth? I question everything, I am curious about life, our inhibitions, and the secrets that we go our whole lives not divulging.

I want women who work in the real world to help empower girl children who have low self-esteem, come from single-parent homes, who are dependent on grants to fill their babies’ mouth to start educating themselves about the world that they live in today. We, as men and women have to discover and cement the original and destinies of young outstanding African men and women in time and history as beloved and cherished men and women. Without an identity, first and foremost, you will never believe that you can do anything. You will inspire nothing, you will be reckless and endanger yourself and you will believe in nothing.

You will have no faith in yourself to accomplish great things with humility and small victories with wisdom at tremendous sacrifice.

In due course racism in the cities across South Africa where the Group Areas Act was enforced (the racism of which we never speak and pretend it is not there even though it is) will come to an end, though not soon enough and the scourge of the Group Areas Act (as much as it is hard to believe) will resurface again and again and again until it is dealt with in a manner deserving of its severity.

Amandhla awethu!

It has begun. The true Freedom Fighters, their children, their grandchildren and their great-grandchildren survived the aftermath of a reversal of what happened over a hundred years before which must now be undone. It was not a struggle of one man alone. The Freedom Fighters who died so I could be writing these words right now in relative freedom from forces that would antagonise me, spirit me away and interrogate me, died so we could survive, so that the ghosts that haunt us to this day, concealed in the lives of generations present and past could finally come to light, be seriously addressed, be debated amongst great theorists and futurists and be put to rest.

Our relationships with each other’s cultures and races have been tender and strained but through the penetrating intellect of our writers and poets all of these stories will be told, their beauty will resonate within us and we will tremble and we will become weak but that is strength. You only have to look at Mahatma Ghandi to see why it is so, Mother Theresa, Florence Nightingale, Vincent van Gogh, the German composers, the French writers, the Nobel prize winners in South Africa, Ingrid Jonker, Bessie Head’s life and masterpiece ‘Maru’ and Susan Sontag.

Strength is not a display of something equalling Samson’s brute strength, something that is violent, disturbing and insensitive and an evil crime against humanity.
Strength is a miracle, probing, truly magnificent and otherworldly.

Africa, Africa, Africa, you are mature, thoughtful, haunting, your energy blazes with the fury of two suns, your love is thick like honey, sometimes you are paper thin, you make me run wild and free into the future. You chose me out of everyone to fall in love with you. I hope someday that all the children of Africa, past and present will feel that way about you. You are an infuriating but always forgivable child. You have filled my heart with so much beauty, stuffed it full with fire, rich, exotic life and governed it with wrath. You soothed my brow with a feverish anticipation of what came after the next word. You leave me bedazzled and formidable every day. I take all your treasures with wherever I go, secretly like a rogue. Forgive me. Africa, you are in a class of your own.

Abigail George, Port Elizabeth
4 October 2005



Fire in Bosnia 1992

The international press talk
In tongues reminiscent of old
Breathe air through iron lungs
Here the colour of death is bold.

War wounds are like stigmata
Earth signs pale in comparison
They wash over you like a downpour
Of rain over a suit of armour.

Residents in a crumbling community
Are much like a sculpture
An ethereal intrusion
In the eye of the beholder.


A poem about a war

The children are terrified – their memory
is worth so much more than wild beginnings
which must always be improved.
But aren't children always terrified in war?
Peace is like an angel food, an angel feast,
The new war is too abstract like normal
– it spills the truth beautifully like a serum.
The ground is dirty, cold and wet – the air stale.
Child soldiers: the enemy are boys just like you
Playing at safe, the hunter, the nomad, the warrior,
Lacking common sense, daring to play at gunfire,
cowards – positively small and insignificant.
They forget the loveliness of a simple life.
Their childhood is interrupted - all they see is red.

It is at first light when everything seems improved.
Love in war is like a death trap - it swallows
you whole like relevant case histories.
Children have been cast into an abyss indiscriminately,
there is no cure for this life, no substitute for lost dreams.
Mothers and children are sickened by this invasion.
At long last like the forgotten you are dead to me – the air is still.
Immoveable, crushing, cheating death – the wrong fit,
I've been waiting for this for a lifetime – the day
a child will say with maturity, their soul electrified –
Remember me? I am no longer invisible – scarring is finished.
I remained human – whole – all this time you were here.
War – your fiendish role is now diminished.
Sons are celebrated – red seeping into the ground is gone.


Death of a River

My name is Mary Savier she said
Do you come from the church, I asked her
No, she said – she came over the bridge
Near my house – the house where the bell
does not work
From the other side where I
have never been or seen – not even as a child
Where people do not drive cars
All the time to where they want to go
And live in fancy houses
And use words like ‘context’
Or ‘retrospective’ to express themselves
It concerned matters of the heart
She wanted news
Life is like that
When there is a death in the family
Like a straw that flows in the stream
And the death of a river filled
with tumultuous life in the ocean
People gather around us – enriching our bodies
Reminding us not to be afraid
To love again.


The Accident

There has been a death
A drowning in a river
A crowd has gathered to pay their respects
Emergency services are doing an effortless, bold drawing
Of printing a memory and identity
On the child’ body.
Circling, signalling and issuing warnings
that this is what will happen to you in life
this is what will happen to you
if you cease to pay attention.
Your forehead will cease
To bulge in concentration
There will no longer be
A glimmer of a smile regarded
As shyness or wariness
Towards the kindness of strangers
Your soul will be invisible
Your body; a sum of parts.

My heart takes flight.

The rubbish heaped at the water’s edge –
Elegant waste nonetheless there is a
Purity about the shape of the child’s head
Dirt under the fingernails is proof of evidence
Leaves and grass scribble randomly on the surface
Dust settles in the remainder of shadows, nooks and crannies –
a shower giving rise to a flutter of a thousand things
They could not find your shoes, little one
The young mother was cradled
By the arms of other young mothers and
Other residents of the community
In love, who is king and who is the slave?
How many times a day
Does this role reversal take place?
In life – I have discovered
The only solution for a broken heart is
To fall in love again and that it is only through
a news bulletin that our own empathy becomes visible.


Bitten

Sacrifice spills over
Grows a root gravely
Settles like scent or dust

Let's put a stamp
And a seal on
That mouth of yours

Once bitten
Twice shy
Go away fool

You foul rogue;
Oval eyes wet
And black,

Obsidian moons
That rise out of nowhere
Glistening like fat

Like flowers
Blooming at night
Bait me like a hook saboteur

I man the shore
Like a well-oiled,
Golden lifesaver

Your twist and shake is like a fish
Your fingers grip wildly at air
Transmit your attitude elsewhere

You are done for hovering coward
Swipe at me again and I will smash
You to smithereens

Little man, skinny as a tick;
Fingers like frilled fissures
You're tarnished and thick.


Hush

Where have all the good gone – they have all died young
and we become like scavengers while megalomaniacs plot,
mercenaries do not surrender; they skulk and hide in the shadows.
You shall not plot anymore as protest writers come to the fore
Mercenaries will surrender, yes, they will be exposed
For as long as they undermine they defy justice and integrity
And pursue evil for their own wilful gain; power has twisted their minds
Diana, the princess of hearts is gone, gone, gone
But landmines are still here
Someone got hold of Ken Saro Wiwa, Chris Hani,
Kwame Nkrumah, Patrice Lumumba, Samora Machel
There are many more who witnessed atrocities and who paid
For our freedom with their lives.
Was Diana thwarted in her eagerness to get rid of those horrid mines?
Did those master minds in the Oval office or even 10 Downing Street
prefer her death to her furious life?
They would prefer promises, lies instead of decency and truth.
I, yes I, shall never fear those shadows.

Diana’s tragedy has removed a leading proponent
of the devastation caused by the colonial masters
We are scavengers, regal and wild like the generation
Those have come before us who embraced exposure even
In hunger, daily starvation, dying states of emergency
Stewing, stewing for all of eternity that lingers like tenderness.
The west is like a piece of splendid coloured glass –
glittering, transparent, decadent and it eventually gives way to decay
I do not thirst for their pre-arranged symbolism
I do not hunger for their restlessness, it only cools my anger
And offers me a brief respite to know how thankful I am
to my bloodline, to Africa that you, Africa are ancient gold
and in the beginnings of a regenerative state.
As all protest writers have said before, ‘Let us venture now
where our forefathers were brave enough to do so before’
.
Let us instinctively gather our collective histories that remain
Africa is ancient – it has made me humble.


Away

I have a secret to tell you with my mouth cupped to your ear
You are as inescapable and permanent as the moon
You black dog as black as night, a ball cold, cryptic
Of mass destruction
As restrained as the sunlight that prettily dissolves
In the pink sky requiring no assistance like a dangerous,
Terrifying aphrodisiac or futile labour from physical witnesses
You are as untouchable as the death of loneliness.

Destination anywhere – the night is over
I am by the time I finally get to you saved and transfixed
Will all my mercurial rituals be translated and resolved?
Shut out the noise, shut in the light, consequence, copycats
compared to African deities, mother-tongue, absolution,
the sun, the safety of numbers of fixed independence.
I have once and for all shut out all tension and conflict.
I am now as intelligent and interesting as ever.

You make me feel
What are you waiting for? Where are you gone now?
I’ve been watching you for what feels like forever
Captivated by your youth, sensitivity, your future,
Promise, level headedness, by your feeling, example
Of personal triumph, beastliness; your art and habits
In love and hate bewitching and demanding.
My outrage is a thin black line.

Silence has become a relic
The pills have disappeared into thin air
All my life this waiting-game has been fine and exhilarating
When you finally return
No direction has sparked a change or transformation
In me: only now your silence instructs me, it strikes
a peace of mind, the ghost world that was once there
Before it vanishes in a blur, I am transfixed by the ether.

Your tenderness is refined, undeniable
I am brooding and terrifying: I abandon
and idolise you cautiously like glass within your boundaries
While you find my company, amusing and appear to be relaxed
We are alike in more respects than one, you devil, awesome and direct
Your staying power is inspiring and calculated
Your solutions terrify me, my resolutions do not stick.
You appear to be for the first time what you do not seem.

Please do not yield to metaphysics, decay, silence,
You miraculous, complicated terrible scar
Will I succeed? Will this black smile survive?
You have never let go, ranted or rivalled me
When morning comes I am a reborn goal-oriented extremist
Please never leave, nothing compares to you
You have replaced the intelligent occupation of the sun
Finally through common sense you are dismissed, we are through.


Tara

Since you ask, most days I cannot remember.
Why can't I remember most days?
My name is English, the town that I've lived in
For all of my childhood and my date of birth, that I know.
Trivia, current affairs, vacant rooms, wards are rendered obsolete
Wherein we are all governed like some drowning thing by fate
But you wouldn't believe me if I told you.
Not even if I say, 'My life so far has been surreal.'
I am shut in, shut out, like the sound of silence calling
At the end of visiting day it is almost as if to say
When the melody dies, as if to say, you loved me
Because you told me so, the eyes never lie.
Through the eye of the needle I am almost invisible
My heart is on the mend, pumped up, pumping for joy
Internal becomes external – a white landscape
Of Nothingness, vapour like fog, crushing, numbing, still
External becomes internal – red, fuchsia, gold, burnt sienna, golden glow
Flashes of brilliance, of growth quickened, vanity, progress and my
Natural vision restored, granted, desensitised and sedated
When we are demotivated, unable to define or to remain
Unmarked by what lies at the bottom of our 'aloneness',
Our 'alien nation' –
moulded between shadow and shape on a canvas
The stunning light that always seems to surround me,
transform me, transfix me, bedazzles me
For now, I have simply declared myself a voyager, a passenger
Hoping all is not lost in the enemy that is time.



Africa, where art thou? was written by Abigail George, and is an excerpt from her book of the same name.
(Drum Beat Media, May 2011)

Copyright © Abigail George 2011.



I am a writer of short stories, articles, personal essays, a memoirist, diarist, grant writer and poet who was born in Port Elizabeth, South Africa in 1979. I studied film and television production for a short while at Newtown Film and Television School in Newtown, Johannesburg, South Africa which was followed by brief stints as a trainee at a production house, studying Business Administration through correspondence, Bible School at Word of Faith Christian Centre in Port Elizabeth, South Africa and studying creative writing through the Leisure Study Group’s Writing School via correspondence again.

I have been published widely in print and online in journals and magazines in South Africa namely Litnet and on Litnet’s Blog, Sun Belly Press, Botsotso, Carapace, New Contrast, Kotaz, Timbila, Echoes Literary Journal, Upbeat and Tribute and online in Africa in South Africa, Nigeria, Kenya, Turkey and Zimbabwe and internationally in the United States, England, Finland and Canada.

I have received two grants from the National Arts Council in Johannesburg. In 2005 for a poetry anthology entitled, Africa, where art thou? and again in 2008 for manuscript development for a collection of short stories entitled, The Origins of Smoke and Mirrors. In 2010 I was published in the following anthologies; Poems for Haiti (Published by Poets Printery), Animal Antics, Soulfully Seeking (Published by the Poetry Institute of Africa) and the forthcoming African Roar 2011.






 
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